I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
