textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
