Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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