I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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