did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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