Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no you cant smoke seaweed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
