The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
