Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
