did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
