there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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