I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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