I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
