All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
