"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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