Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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