I puked a lego.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
