You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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