Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
