guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
cat food counts as protein by the way
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
