I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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