I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
