You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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