Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
