I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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