i was born a porn star she said
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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