I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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