That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
