I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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