oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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