That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
