What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
