I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
