I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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