he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
