okay pat passed out under dana's car
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize