Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
