Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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