Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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