how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
