He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
