why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
