I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
