Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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