Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
