Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
