im gay
i know
yea but for you.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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