People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
