from now on my penis is your penis
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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