I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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