Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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