Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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