She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
