Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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