sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
