next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize