After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize