Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
wow bdsm is so cute
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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