Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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