I CAN MOONWALK!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize