Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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