I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The feeling are messing with the penis
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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