They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
