i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
