for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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